By Ken Giglio, Principal of Mindful Leadership

What We Don’t Know About Ourselves

What I don’t know can be like an ocean to a cup of what I do know. And, I’m not alone. Every executive I’ve coached in my career spanning 25 years claims they know more than they do, especially about themselves.

How, then, can leaders see themselves more clearly—both in what they know and in what remains hidden? The practice of self-observation offers a way forward.

This article examines the foundational role self-observation in cultivating self-awareness, its scientific underpinnings, and its connection to the Tri-Lens Mindful Reflection Model™. I will also offer everyday practices to build the habit of self-observation and reflection in support of real change.

For leaders, genuine growth starts with noticing—turning attention inward to observe what is present. Self-observation opens the door to reflection, and reflection creates the conditions for meaningful change. Far from being only theoretical, these pathways are grounded in the biology of the body and the cognitive systems of the mind.

The Biological Gateway: Interoception

Interoception is our brain’s capacity to sense internal bodily signals such as heartbeat, breath rhythm, or muscle tension. Neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett’s research indicates the brain doesn’t simply “read” these signals—it actively predicts and interprets them, constructing our emotional experience in real time. What we feel as stress, calm, or confidence is our brain’s best guess about what body sensations mean in context.

Cultivating interoceptive awareness can turn this guessing game into conscious awareness, resulting in the ability to choose. By noticing early cues—tightness in the chest or warmth in the face, for example—we can pause, reflect, and regulate before slipping into automatic reaction. Interoception becomes the biological gateway to self-observation, enabling reflection and opening the possibility for real change.

The Cognitive Gateway: Attention Systems

Self-observation also depends on the brain’s attention systems, which regulate how we notice, sustain, and shift focus. Cognitive psychologist Michael Posner and colleagues identified three core systems that anchor attention science:
– Alerting – sustaining readiness and vigilance,
– Orienting – directing focus to what matters in the moment, and
– Executive control – noticing distraction and returning to what matters.

Recent neuroscience builds on this foundation. Amishi Jha’s research on mindfulness and attention shows how training these systems strengthens resilience and presence. Richard Davidson highlights attention as a core “emotional style,” shaping how quickly and flexibly we respond to change. And, Stanislas Dehaene emphasizes attention’s role in conscious access—what we actually become aware of and able to reflect on.

Together, these insights show attention is not a single skill, but a dynamic capacity for mental noticing. Strengthening attention systems means cultivating the ability to pause, recognize where the mind is, and intentionally redirect focus. This cognitive gateway complements interoceptive awareness, forming the second foundation of self-observation.

Integrating Body and Mind

When combined, interoception and attention form the dual gateways of self-observation:
– The body signals what is happening.
– The mind notices and interprets.
– Reflection arises from linking the two.
– Change occurs as repeated noticing rewires neural pathways.

“Just noticing” is transformative because it activates biological and cognitive systems—a capacity that can be trained and strengthened.

The Tri-Lens Mindful Reflection Model™

The Tri-Lens Mindful Reflection Model™ provides a bridge from science to practice. At the model’s center lies Attention and Presence—the very capacities illuminated by neuroscience. Through the Self-facing lens, the model invites two guiding questions:

– What am I noticing?
– What am I sensing in my body and in my surroundings?

These questions mirror interoception (bodily sensing) and attention (mental noticing). They also anchor reflective practice, helping leaders and coaches cultivate attention and presence in real time.

From Self-Observation to Reflection and Change

Building on neuroscience, leaders can adopt practices that translate observation into meaningful change. Barrett’s research underscores how we notice and interpret inner signals directly shape what we feel and how we act. Here are five ways to bring these gateways to life:

1. Mindful Pauses – Take 30–60 seconds before or during a meeting to notice your breath, heartbeat, or posture.
2. Reflective Journaling – Write down not only what happened but what you sensed in your body at the time.
3. Reflective Dialogue – Use the Self-facing lens of the Tri-Lens Model to ask: what am I noticing? What am I sensing?
4. Attention Training – Notice when the mind drifts and gently redirect focus to the present.
5. Embodied Check-Ins – Begin coaching or team meetings with brief body-based observations (“My shoulders are tight.” “I feel grounded in my feet.”).

These practices support presence and intentional choice, turning self-observation into reflection and reflection into change.

Self-Observation as Practice

Self-observation is not mere introspection. It is a disciplined practice rooted in how the brain and body function. Interoception supplies the biological signals; attention provides the cognitive noticing; reflection integrates them into meaningful change. Frameworks such as the Tri-Lens Mindful Reflection Model™ give leaders, coaches, and coach supervisors the tools to deepen growth in practice.

A Note to Coaching Supervisors:

If this article resonates with you, consider deepening your practice in our Mindful Reflection Group designed exclusively for coaching supervisors. This is not a general reflection circle—it is a dedicated space where we bring real cases and experiences from our coaching and supervision practices. Together, we strengthen attention, presence, and interoceptive awareness—not just for ourselves, but for the coaches we supervise.

Please visit our website for more information on Coach Supervision and our other coaching and leadership development offerings.

References

• Barrett, L. F. (2017). How emotions are made: The secret life of the brain. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.
• Davidson, R. J. (2012). The emotional life of your brain. Hudson Street Press.
• Dehaene, S. (2020). Consciousness and the brain. Penguin.
• Jha, A. P. (2021). Peak mind: Find your focus, own your attention, invest 12 minutes a day. HarperOne.
• Petersen, S. E., & Posner, M. I. (2012). The attention system of the human brain: 20 years after. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 35, 73–89.