December 22, 2023

Ending the Year in Peace

By Ken Giglio, Principal of Mindful Leadership

How will we end the year in peace? What will it take for humanity to turn toward peace?

As I see it, the preeminent question for our time is – how will we cultivate peace in ourselves, with others, and in our world? Peace feels out of reach right now. Every day the news brings us a drumbeat of despair and desperation—so many lives lost to war, and so much vitriol in our society. Detaching from the news does not change the reality the world is in deep pain. For me, when I see children suffering and dying, it breaks my heart.

In this global fire, peace, even in small doses, gives us a chance of survival, individually and collectively. Peace as a way of being creates a solid foundation for all life to flourish.

Peace begins within. We all have the capacity to and can make the choice to be calm and tranquil, to cultivate peace in our minds and in our hearts. Moments of quiet and stillness can foster peace in us, and an accumulation of these moments can bring periods of resonant calm.

If we feel calm, peace is present. This peaceful presence is felt by others. It lives in our bodies and connects us energetically and has the potential to spread and envelop those around us, creating societal peace. Everything that leads away from peace, from minor antagonisms to war, begins in people’s hearts and minds.

Conflicts are inevitable, war is not. Conflicts in our families and at work can lead to growth if we accept our role in the turmoil and take a role in resolving it. Conflicts within us, between neighbors, and between nations, all have paths available for peace. War within us or between peoples is always destructive; its discord and violence carry us far from peace.

Peace is a choice. We take the side of peace and hold it gently and firmly.

I am taking the side of Peace.

Peace, which I will not abandon
even when its voice is drowned out
by hurt and hatred,
bitterness of loss,
cries of right and wrong.

From Taking Sides by Rabbi Irwin Keller

Peace is not a wish or a hope. Peace is a practice. We need a commitment to cultivating peace within us, with others, and within our world. Here are three peace practices:

Deep Listening

We live in a world going deaf to the voices of peace. In pain, we are shouting to be heard when what we need is to deepen our listening. Our first practice is to listen more closely to ourselves. Peace abides within us. We are often at war with our thoughts and feelings because we wish they would be different, more peaceful. Like a calm, blue sky with scattered clouds, peace of mind is always present and accessible amidst the noisiness of our minds. All we need to do is listen.

Peace in our relationships is available to us if we listen to others without judgment or fear. If we listen with our hearts, we bypass our comparing and judging minds. We then see others more clearly through eyes of understanding and compassion.

Listening deeply allows silence and quiet to flourish. In a world on fire, joy and love also reside in our communities and families. We need to listen for them: “the quieter you become, the more you hear.” – Ram Dass

When we deepen our listening, we cultivate peace.

Forgiveness

Real, lasting peace is not possible without forgiveness. Peace within us will falter and not take root if we blame and shame ourselves over past missteps. And, we can forgive ourselves going forward, too, because we will no doubt find ways to screw up again, or at least I will. Being at ease with our frail humanity builds resilience. Making peace with ourselves means forgiving ourselves.

Peace between us and others is anchored in forgiveness. From the slights to the betrayals that color our relationships if we cannot find a path to forgive, then peace will elude us. We all lack the awareness and wisdom necessary to not at times hurt each other. This realization alone can foster peaceful times with others.

Our world is crying out for peace, and yet I rarely hear cries for forgiveness. How will we move forward and foster goodwill without forgiveness?

When we forgive, we cultivate peace.

Acceptance

Self-acceptance of who and what we are is not contingent on our accomplishments, though feel free to revel in your good year business–wise. Accepting ourselves completely and letting go of self-judgements of perceived good or bad attitudes and behaviors is tantamount to being at peace with ourselves.

All the people in our lives, from those closest to us to those we work with and may not particularly like, all need our acceptance. They are messy, imperfect humans like us. Accepting others for who they are and letting go of who we want them to be brings peace to our relationships. And, sometimes, sadly, relationships need to be dropped like dead leaves for peace to enter.

Letting go of how we want the world to be does not mean giving up on the world or giving up on peace. It is ludicrous to think we can fight for peace; we need to be the peace we seek.

When we foster acceptance, we cultivate peace.

How will we end the year in peace? How will we cultivate peace in ourselves, with others, and in our world?

“Peace is present right here and now, in ourselves and in everything we do and see. Every breath we take, every step we take, can be filled with peace, joy, and serenity. The question is whether or not we are in touch with it. We need only to be awake, alive in the present moment.” – Thich Nhat Hanh