“It’s their responsibility to do the work; I can’t do it for them.”

“What is the work you are referring to?”

“They need to become more self-aware, more in touch with what is behind the comments they make that send their colleagues sideways. They need to reflect and look inside themselves more and react less.”

I tend to remember some conversations from 360-degree feedback more than others. My work coaching senior executives invariably involves some form of feedback from the organizational system. The statement above was an Executive Vice President talking about their technically brilliant Senior Vice President direct report who was alienating other executives.

The SVP was seen as annoying at best and rude and disrespectful mostly, because they communicated in a curt and transactional manner. In short, the SVP lacked awareness and the EVP was frustrated about what was a perceived lack of ownership and accountability for changing the situation.

Among the many learnings I gained from this executive coaching engagement, my main takeaway from the EVP’s comments above is that we are “responsible to do the work.” This is the inner work of understanding the root causes of our behaviors, our thoughts, and emotions. It is our responsibility to put in the effort, to do the work, of increasing our awareness.